Your note on Lizzie “bewitching” Darcy, as well as your note to, “Keep in mind the contrast between prudence and passion in romantic choices,” has me thinking that Lizzie’s rejection of Darcy not only helps give each time to grow in their understanding of themselves, and also in their understanding (and therefore appreciation) of each other, but that also it gives their relationship a chance for success which it might not have had without it. What I mean is, it’s perhaps possible that if Lizzie had accepted Darcy’s initial proposal, his passion would have faded and left a foundation which would not have been firm enough to support a long term happy marriage. It’s too easy to look at the end of a relationship, see that the people were tailor-made for each other, and assume that they were always going to “work out.” But this has me thinking that how a relationship begins and how the foundation was laid before vows were made, is essential. The people involved are obviously essential, but so are the conditions upon which they begin their relationship.
That's such a good point! And later we'll see Darcy attribute Lizzy's very rejection as the moment that he begins to really see himself more clearly (more on that later) and begin to change (and Lizzy too, really). The way they each help the other (indirectly) to grow in virtue is such a lovely image of what marriage really ought to be!
Something that has really struck me during this read-through is how Sir William Lucas serves as a foil to Mr. Bennett. He is described as unintelligent and comes across somewhat dopey, but he's constantly ahead of Mr. Bennett for social niceties and appropriate behavior.
-He is among the first to welcome Mr. Bingley to the neighborhood
-Lucas Lodge properly hosts the Netherfield contingent, whereas Longbourne is described as having suggested vague, unclear invitations.
-Charlotte Lucas has more sense and prudence than any one of the Bennett sisters, albeit far less passion.
-Sir William is repeatedly described as having good breeding (and while I think that Jane Austen was using humour here, I also think there's something of a double-purpose to it because he does consistently behave appropriately in the circumstances)
-When Lizzie calls out Mr. Darcy as not intending to dance ("Mr. Darcy is all politeness"), Sir William takes this in the most positive light... Whether by design or dullness, he does not allow it to offend his guest.
-When Sir William announces the engagement, the Bennett family behaves horribly. Sir William handles it with incredible patience and forbearance.
-Mr. Bennett sees Charlotte's engagement (which effectively makes her the future mistress of his home) as a foolish action on her part.
-Mr. Bennett repeatedly allows himself and his family to be exposed as uncivilized.
-When Mr. Collins comes to visit, Mr. Bennett initially welcomed his guest, but soon finds himself overwhelmed by the same foolish behavior he was looking forward to seeing. Whereas he finds himself a bit outmaneuvered in ways by Mr. Collins, it's actually Sir William who is able to take advantage of the Bennetts cousin and who comes out ahead in the end.
This is making me think of duty and desire and how the balance of the two leads to the good life. Charlotte is all duty and Lydia is all desire and Elizabeth bridges the gap. These are very seedling thoughts.
That’s such a great observation! Austen is so good with making us look twice at her characters. It’s so easy to take them at face value and miss the depth. I love that she makes us work for it!
I always feel like Austen is critiquing society more than she is critiquing Charlotte. She does offer some censure of Charlotte’s moral failing in accepting Mr. Collin’s proposal, but she is also careful to point out that society has formed women like Charlotte to accept such a proposal because it’s (seemingly) their only viable option for security and respectability. Austen herself lived pretty dependent on other relatives as an unmarried woman, so she knows the costs that can come with making the choice of greater integrity. I also love how Austen points out the double standard in Elizabeth’s thinking/society’s at large. When Wickham later distances himself from her to chase after an heiress, Elizabeth is very understanding/not upset. For women, as it is today, there is often more criticism of their romantic choices/men are allowed to do things but when women do them it’s objectionable
"Also, not saying Darcy did a great job at this, but as a mom to all boys I will be 100% teaching them that the only acceptable way to begin a proposal is ..." Well, yes, so long as you also teach them not to then continue on with all the ways in which their beloved is inferior to them.
Your note on Lizzie “bewitching” Darcy, as well as your note to, “Keep in mind the contrast between prudence and passion in romantic choices,” has me thinking that Lizzie’s rejection of Darcy not only helps give each time to grow in their understanding of themselves, and also in their understanding (and therefore appreciation) of each other, but that also it gives their relationship a chance for success which it might not have had without it. What I mean is, it’s perhaps possible that if Lizzie had accepted Darcy’s initial proposal, his passion would have faded and left a foundation which would not have been firm enough to support a long term happy marriage. It’s too easy to look at the end of a relationship, see that the people were tailor-made for each other, and assume that they were always going to “work out.” But this has me thinking that how a relationship begins and how the foundation was laid before vows were made, is essential. The people involved are obviously essential, but so are the conditions upon which they begin their relationship.
That's such a good point! And later we'll see Darcy attribute Lizzy's very rejection as the moment that he begins to really see himself more clearly (more on that later) and begin to change (and Lizzy too, really). The way they each help the other (indirectly) to grow in virtue is such a lovely image of what marriage really ought to be!
Something that has really struck me during this read-through is how Sir William Lucas serves as a foil to Mr. Bennett. He is described as unintelligent and comes across somewhat dopey, but he's constantly ahead of Mr. Bennett for social niceties and appropriate behavior.
-He is among the first to welcome Mr. Bingley to the neighborhood
-Lucas Lodge properly hosts the Netherfield contingent, whereas Longbourne is described as having suggested vague, unclear invitations.
-Charlotte Lucas has more sense and prudence than any one of the Bennett sisters, albeit far less passion.
-Sir William is repeatedly described as having good breeding (and while I think that Jane Austen was using humour here, I also think there's something of a double-purpose to it because he does consistently behave appropriately in the circumstances)
-When Lizzie calls out Mr. Darcy as not intending to dance ("Mr. Darcy is all politeness"), Sir William takes this in the most positive light... Whether by design or dullness, he does not allow it to offend his guest.
-When Sir William announces the engagement, the Bennett family behaves horribly. Sir William handles it with incredible patience and forbearance.
-Mr. Bennett sees Charlotte's engagement (which effectively makes her the future mistress of his home) as a foolish action on her part.
-Mr. Bennett repeatedly allows himself and his family to be exposed as uncivilized.
-When Mr. Collins comes to visit, Mr. Bennett initially welcomed his guest, but soon finds himself overwhelmed by the same foolish behavior he was looking forward to seeing. Whereas he finds himself a bit outmaneuvered in ways by Mr. Collins, it's actually Sir William who is able to take advantage of the Bennetts cousin and who comes out ahead in the end.
This is making me think of duty and desire and how the balance of the two leads to the good life. Charlotte is all duty and Lydia is all desire and Elizabeth bridges the gap. These are very seedling thoughts.
That’s such a great observation! Austen is so good with making us look twice at her characters. It’s so easy to take them at face value and miss the depth. I love that she makes us work for it!
I'm also noticing all the ways in which Elizabeth is contrasted with the women around her.
-Elizabeth without joy or humility is akin to Caroline Bingley
-Elizabeth without passion is akin to Charlotte Lucas
-Elizabeth without discipline is akin to Lydia Bennett
I always feel like Austen is critiquing society more than she is critiquing Charlotte. She does offer some censure of Charlotte’s moral failing in accepting Mr. Collin’s proposal, but she is also careful to point out that society has formed women like Charlotte to accept such a proposal because it’s (seemingly) their only viable option for security and respectability. Austen herself lived pretty dependent on other relatives as an unmarried woman, so she knows the costs that can come with making the choice of greater integrity. I also love how Austen points out the double standard in Elizabeth’s thinking/society’s at large. When Wickham later distances himself from her to chase after an heiress, Elizabeth is very understanding/not upset. For women, as it is today, there is often more criticism of their romantic choices/men are allowed to do things but when women do them it’s objectionable
"Also, not saying Darcy did a great job at this, but as a mom to all boys I will be 100% teaching them that the only acceptable way to begin a proposal is ..." Well, yes, so long as you also teach them not to then continue on with all the ways in which their beloved is inferior to them.